Canal bum grab
New submission from Lucy
I was cycling by myself down the canal and had stopped to check my phone to see where I was, and was standing by my bike. A group of teenage boys on BMX bikes cycled by me and one grabbed my bum and another laughed at me. They were about 14-years-old.
Flasher on Grove Hill
New submission from Emma Bee
Not very recent, but I was flashed at walking up Grove Hill, and the same happened to a friend of mine a few years earlier. When I started shouting at him, the attacker fled.
‘Are you sure you wanna say this? Because i am about to beat you up.’
New submission from Julia
I was walking home from a party on Friday night with two girlfriends. As we walked past the crowd outside a bar someone grabbed my bum. I turned around and immediately embarked on a tirade of ‘Don’t you touch girls like that, it’s disrespectful and intimidating’ blah blah. My two friends got immediately defensive and starting laying into the guys. The guys got very aggressive very quickly. They were asking me ‘Are you sure you wanna say this? Because i am about to beat you up.’ They started shouting, and we were shouting back, and i became worried it was going to get really nasty so i pulled my friends away. They followed us down the street, shouting, spitting at us and throwing their drinks at us. I was worried they were going to see where i lived as we were on my street so we sort of slowed down, and before long they got bored and backed off.
To be honest it’s not the first time this has happened, it was actually the second time that week that i had been groped in that same way. But something in me flipped this time, and because i was close to home, i decided to call 101-the non-emergency police number. To my shock and joy, the police took the call incredibly seriously. The operator was very sympathetic and there were two officers at my house within 10 minutes. One of them took my details and apologised that this had happened, he was very sweet and sympathetic. He explained that they would go and look for the guys, and if they could identify them, they would arrest them and call me the next day.
They didn’t find them, but i just got a call from a police officer, who asked me to go through the events again, and explained that they were about to search cctv footage, and if they found images would i be willing to go to court. I said i absolutely would.
Like i said, this isn’t the first time i have been sexually harassed, and it certainly wasn’t the worst experience of sexual harassment i’ve been through, but it was the first time i reported it and i now feel really stupid for not doing it sooner. I always thought the police wouldn’t care, but i was wrong. Even if they never catch those guys, i know now that next time something happens i will feel comfortable and safe reporting it, and that the more we all do it, the more the police force will be encouraged to take even more action, and make hackney a safer place.
“You shouldnt play with your hair like that. It turns security guards on”
Ladies, don’t go clubbing at Penthouse. I’m not just saying that because this lame Leicester Square establishment is a bit of a hole, but also because of the following story.
(On a side note, I am writing this on behalf of my embarrassed friend who after this incident has taken on a self-blaming thought process. Exactly what street harassment achieves, and exactly why the rest of us need to speak up.)
My friend has a habit of playing with her hair. A security guard starts talking to her, and being the good natured and polite girl that she is, she maintains the conversation. Soon enough, he comes out with this comment. “You shouldnt play with your hair like that. It turns security guards on”. Naturally, she gets scared and runs away. He mocks her.
Shocking. If you can’t trust a security guard, who can you trust?
He grabbed me by the neck as I was attempting to make my way out of the club.
New submission from Sophie
On Sunday 15th January I was assaulted in the Vodka Revolution Bar on West Street. A man (who I had never spoken with, seen, or even made eye contact with) grabbed me by the neck as I was attempting to make my way out of the club. Perhaps this was some strange attempt to kiss me. Naturally, I pushed him back and asked him what he was doing, he then began shouting in my face. I was obviously shocked by this and looked around to see if anyone else had seen this and could help, two men stood next to him also shouting at me. The first guy hit me over the head and I walked away (after having a good shout!).
My friend and I went away to find a bouncer, and reported this incident to him. He asked me to point out the guy, which I did. The bouncer said that he would go and speak to him, so I waiting by the stairs with my friend, Katie. After 10-15 minutes, the bouncer returned, fresh drink in hand, and informed me that the man had told him that he “didn’t know what he was talking about”. To which I pointed out that “of course he would say that…”. The bouncer said that as he did not witness the incident, there was not much that could be done.
I told the bouncer that I wanted to report this incident to the police, he went away and fetched them and lead me towards the fire exit where they were waiting. I told one of the policeman exactly what happened, and he suggest that as my friend and I are “both pretty girls” we pretty much had to expect this sort of this. He mentioned the “pretty girls” comment a few times before I calmly accused him of being sexist and suggested to him that the fact that I am wearing a dress and have gone to a club does not give a man license to grab me, hit me and scream in my face. I then told him that if I had gone out in jeans in the middle of the day and this had happened to me, this may have ben treated very differently.
The officer took my details, as did one of the bouncers. Another police officer imerged and said that they were now going to kick the guy out – although I did not see this happen and it did not look as if they were going to. The officers stood around under the stairs just so that it looked like they were going to do something. The bouncers also told me that they would look at the CCTV and call me. My friend and I got our coats and left through the fire exit.
The next day, I have called the club and spoken with the manager who says that no one had logged this. No one would have contacted me. No one looked at the CCTV. This afternoon, the manager has looked for this incident on the CCTV and said that as the cameras are in a bad position, he would not be able to see anything. Not good enough.
I also spoke with the Chief Inspector of Brighton police who told me that it sounded as if the officer was being more “patronising” as opposed to sexit. I disagree – this was a case of sexism and victim blaming.
I was not drunk, although I had had a couple of drinks. I was wearing a short black dress. Where I am and what I am wearing should not give drunken men license to assault me, it should not give bouncers license to ignore me, and it should not give police officers license to blame me for the way I present myself. I thought that we were passed this – apparenty not.
“What, you want the whole street to hear? I’d like to bite your arse.”
New submission from Jess
I was cycling home, 4pm on a Wednesday, when I heard the words “I’d like to bite that arse” shouted in my direction.
It took a couple of seconds to sink in, but when it did, my bike screeched to a halt, I looked round and shouted “What did you say?” in shock.
His reply: “What, you want the whole street to hear? I’d like to bite your arse.”
I shouted “Fuck off” back and pedalled off, while all the brilliant putdowns I had failed to think of flooded my brain.
How is this acceptable? How can we change the mindsets of dicks like this?
Why do some men think that moving past you in a crowded bar necessitates giving your waist a squeeze and saying ‘sorry’?
New submission from Violet
Why do some men think that moving past you in a crowded bar necessitates giving your waist a squeeze and saying ‘sorry’?
I’m not offended that you pushed past me – this place is crowded. What’s offensive is that you decided to use an apology as an excuse to touch me. I don’t know you. In fact – I’ve never seen you before in my life. What makes you think it’s acceptable to put your hands around my waist, or on my hips?
There was one guy who went beyond creepy waist-squeezing. As he took his hands off my waist, he deliberately moved them down to slide them over my arse. GROSS. GROSS. GROSS.
Paid to Harass?
New submission from Nixy
So there’s this guy collecting for a charity, I don’t know which one but they wear lime-green shirts. As per usual he’s trying to charm me with the intent of getting my money.
When I told him I wasn’t interested, he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said that was none of his business. He stepped in front of me as I tried to walk off, and asked me out. I said NO THANKYOU, I’M NOT INTERESTED. He said, ‘What, not interested in a guy like me?’ And I said, ‘A guy like WHAT?’ and he goes, ‘a guy with a JOB!’ I was furious. ‘NO, I’m not interested in a guy who THINKS IT’S OK TO HARRASS WOMEN IN THE STREET!’
I then crossed the street to where a woman stood, also collecting for the same charity – I assume they were part of the same team. I watched the man’s face fall as I told her what happened, and she profusely apologised and said she would tell a manager.
I take issue with any organisation that encourages staff to go out in the street and collect money. It’s become a huge issue, especially in London, and getting harrassed in the street is bad enough when strangers do it, let alone the fact that there are now people who are PAID to do it.
