Appalachian Ohio, Athens GA, Atlanta, Berkeley, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Columbia MO, Columbus, Des Moines, Durham & Chapel Hill, East Lansing, Fredericksburgh VA, Houston, Los Angeles, Muncie IN, New York City, NYU, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Plattsburgh, Richmond VA, San Francisco, Tucson, Twin Cities
New submission from Louise
I had left work for lunch and was walking to meet a friend and I walked past a group of what looked like builders. They all glanced over as I passed but the one nearest me said ‘I would RUIN that.’ loud enough for all of us to hear and probably anyone sitting outside the Starbucks opposite. I never feel like I can respond in these situations because I just feel outnumbered and a bit intimidated. What does that even mean – you’re going to ruin me… great. Every woman loves getting ruined I guess. Another one happened a couple of days after, I ducked into a Sainsburys local quickly out of the rain with a couple of friends and a guy in the doorway said ‘mmm, very nice, you very gorgeous’ aside from making me feel like a piece of meat he continued to stare at me walking around the shop instead of leaving it like I assumed he was going to do. These two encounters are a drop in the ocean of incidents I have experienced as a teenager and a woman. (I’ll recount one more from when I was 14 and riding home on the bus in my school uniform… a creepy guy got on, obviously sat next to me, to my horror proceeded to put his head in my lap and then came up a minute later with a horrible leer on his face and said ‘No ring then?’ I later presumed he meant a marriage ring.)
New submission from CJ
I was on a flight from Gatwick to France with Easyjet. I am a frequent traveller, and I also travel alone more often than not and I have never felt harrassed. I was sat in seat by the window. From before we took off the man sitting next to me continued to push up against me, first with his legs, as i moved my legs away he pushed his leg closer, I tried to move closer to the window, my legs crossed away from his side and my right arm over my body and he then continued to push his arm into my side under my breast as i tried to move away. I tried to put my scarf between us and he continued to push into me. I appreciate these flights do not give much room but this man was persistent in touching me as I tried to move away. I eventually couldnt move away anymore, i felt completely trapped so i removed myself and went to stand at the rear of the plane. I asked a cabin crew and explained the situation very calmly, if i could be moved to another seat. He told me that there were seats available but that they were upgraded ‘paid extra’ seats and he couldnt move me, i replied in that case i would stand until we are ready to land. I then asked a cabin manager if i could be moved and she told me she couldnt move me and that i would have to take my seat.
Was i meant to wait to be groped even more by a stranger before i was moved? Cabin crew MUST be made aware that there are men who will willfully take advantage of the cramped seats to touch female strangers. I am disgusted that a seat was not made available to me by Easyjet to alievate my feelings of harrassment, even when seats were available and that Easyjet did nothing to come to my assistance.
As soon as we landed, I jumped out of my seat and took a picture of this pervert!
New submission from Cait
I was sitting next to a young woman (like me) on the bus. She had long, blonde braids. A guy got on the bus, sat in the seat in front of ours and turned around to stare. At first he just stared at her for a minute, but then he started to say “Hey gorgeous, I like your blonde hair. You’re beautiful.” I was so angry on her behalf. There were at least 15 people on the bus, it was around 2 in the afternoon and no-one said a thing. The woman looked uncomfortable. At first she said thanks, and then became silent when he got more explicit. Usually I’m scared of large guys when they’re aggressively harassing women, but I became too angry to care. I told him “Leave her alone and turn around, you’re making me uncomfortable.” He then said “I’m not bothering her.” “No,” I replied, “You’re bothering me.” He then asked if I was her girlfriend, and if she was a lesbian. “No, she’s a human being.” I think I half-yelled it. He stared at me for the longest time, until a guy on the bus distracted him and they spoke about football. When I got off, she thanked me – all I could think of was how awful it has been when I have been harassed and no-one stood up for me. Ever since then I’ve been more vocal when it’s safe to be.
New submission from Emmeline
It’s about 1am, I am on my way home – alone – from a halloween party – in costume as a blank and white bmovie character (top hat, greyshcale makeup. I have a long coat on over ter esof my costume)
As I crossed from the train station to the bus station (a 1 minute walk) two men approached me separately with a suggestively toned ‘hello’.
At the bus stop, a guy kept creepily following me around, moving to stand near me every time I moved to get away from him.
Then three young men walked past, and one said “You look niiiice.”
I ignored them.
“Hey. Hey. You. What, no thank you? Nothing? Fine bitch, you look bad. Fat slut. Fuck you bitch”.
New submission from Jenny
I was on a packed train going a few stops. We were all crammed next to each other as usual on busy rush hour trains and I felt a hand against my bum. I had a dress and tights on and at first thought it could be an accident. It soon became clear it wasn’t and he was groping me and putting his hand up all over my bum. I’m not sure why but I almost froze on the spot, and for some reason didn’t say anything. I tried hard to move away but I was limited with the space. He got off at the next stop and it wasn’t until I was standing in a nearly empty carriage that I suddenly felt quite upset and violated. I reporting it straight to the Transport Police who are dealing with it. Since the incident I haven’t stopped thinking about it, and more than anything I’m furious I didn’t say anything, as I am not exactly shy! There is something about being violated like that that just makes you freeze.
New submission from Chloe
I am so fed up of not being able to fully relax when walking down the street. Its 2014 when is this going to stop?
From men staring at you on the underground tube for so long that you feel like you want to scream at them, to men secretly filming you on their phone.
I cringe whenever a van goes by or I go past a building site because every.single.time the men shout something, anything! They laugh at you and call you things. I don’t care if they call you ‘gorgeous’ it’s intrusive, distracting, and disrespectful when it happens so often and you are minding your own business.
Every time you have to pre plan what you’re going to do, ‘ok I’m going to look down and pretend to be on my phone as to look like I’m distracted’ or ‘oh no I’m coming up to a building site, i’m going to try and cross the road so i’m far away’ they still shout something.
You cannot casually go on a jog – no way! I no longer do it from being so sick of being shouted at by leering men when I’m just trying to get a bit of Exercise.
A customer twice stalked me when I’m at work, and a few other men have demanded my number and rudely stormed off after I have said ‘no’ about ten times and told them they were making me feel uncomfortable.
I have so much more to say and so many little stories but my real concern is… there is no way we can stop this. I wish we could teach these men to treat women with respect and leave them alone, but I fear there’s no way.
New submission from phone app
Around 11pm on a Friday night I was walking down Oxford Street with my friend. A man walking the other way started saying hello hello hello to us – which we ignored. As we passed he said, “What do you want?” Stunned by this ludicrous question I said, “What do you mean – what do you want?” He looked so embarrassed that someone had called him out on this and just smiled sheepishly. What an idiot.
Of course I should have replied, “For you to fall down a pot hole and break both your legs”.
New submission from Victoria
am a teacher in a local school, and live in the catchment area. This is rarely an issue, but one former pupil has repeatedly verbally harassed me while I have been in the community. While on route to the gym, coming home from the hospital and even walking to the corner shop I have been told, “Looking good, Miss”, “You’re hot” and recently “I’d f*** you.” The final comment caused me a lot of anxiety when I came home, and has made me uncomfortable to go for runs or be out in my community. Because he is a minor and no longer at the school, it is difficult for the school to intervene, but even discussing the issue with colleagues was helpful. I am still upset with this behaviour being demonstrated and not challenged by any of his peers that were around.