“Just a smile love, I ain’t gonna rape you.”

Published on August 16,2012 at 1:46 pm in Uncategorized, no comments 

New submission from Alex

On the Kingston Bypass, in barely moving traffic, there was a white van alongside our car. I was aware that the van was deliberately keeping pace with us. Being higher, the driver could see my skirt (which was quite short) and my legs. The passenger in the van was leaning over the driver to get a look as well. I felt a bit nervous and worried. I told my sister (who was driving) about it. I stared straight ahead not daring to move my head. I just wanted to get away from them but we couldn’t because of the traffic. The van driver shouted “Come on luv, give us a smile, you’ve got gorgeous legs – let’s see your face!” I looked solidly ahead turned away and put my hand up to cover my face. My sister who was driving said “Just ignore them.” It carried on for what seemed ages with more comments. “Just a smile love, I ain’t gonna rape you.” Finally we came to a point where the van was turning off up a slip road. “The passenger leant over and shouted, “What’s the matter. Stuck-up bitch? You need to get nine inches of my cock inside you and then you’d have a smile on your face.” Despite my sister’s advice, I turned towards them and stuck my tongue out at them. A huge cheer came from the van and the driver shouted “That’s more like it. Cheerio darling, I hope I see you again.”

I felt really humiliated, powerless and angry. I was angry with them for making me feel like this and with myself for looking at them. I felt it was my fault. Later I realised that I should have taken the licence plate number or a photo of them. I just did all the wrong things. I still feel angry about it and go over the event in my mind.

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Some Hollaback facts:

- Street Harassment has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power. Whether it's "Hey baby girl" or “You’d look good on me,” groping, public masturbation, or worse, these “compliments” aren’t about flirting or about chivalry either.

- If it makes you feel uncomfortable, it's not okay.

- If you feel intimidated, you DON'T need to 'take it as a compliment.'

- Street harassment is a gateway crime that makes other forms of gender-based violence OK.

- Studies conducted show that between 80-90% of women have been harassed in public.

- Street harassment may be the social and cultural norm, but it is far from OK. Street harassment teaches us to be silent, that taking action will only escalate the situation. While this isn’t bad advice, it has led us down a dangerous road. Ultimately, perpetrators realise they won’t be held accountable and continue to harass.

- Hollaback! was designed by a group of young people who were tired of being silenced and sought a simple, non-violent response. What has emerged is a platform where thousands of stories of street harassment have been told.

- We believe that by continuing to tell and map these stories, our voices will chip away at a culture that makes gender-based violence OK. Together we have the power to end street harassment, one Hollaback at a time.

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