“I wish you would hold me like you’re holding those pillows.”
I had several interesting experiences living on Camberwell New Road in the past year – sadly I only just discovered this app today, so will document the worst. On a daily basis you are likely to get shouted at by passers-by and motorists, from the early hours in the morning to late at night. on one memorable occasion a man walked up and shouted “Fucking!?!” straight in my face. I was alone, after dark in front of the Kennington pub. On another occasion a man stopped in front of me as I was walking home, having just bought some pillows that I was clutching to the front of my body. he said “I wish you would hold me like you’re holding those pillows.” Relatively harmless, until I realised he was watching to see what building I was entering….
Another time a drunk man starred shouting at me at a traffic light, two guys in a white van pulled up and asked if I was ok. I said yea thank you, and one of them proceeded to ask me for my number whilst staring at my chest. then my neighbour, christened ‘Pervy tony’, started regularly asking me to come in his flat for some ‘Cheeky times’ while his wife and three kids were out. He also told me the kids were his nieces. they called him daddy… he once followed me in his car, pulled up and asked me to get in with him for some fun. this is a man I had tried to make clear to that I did not want to talk to him. He still persisted.
He locked the door and said it would be easier if I just stayed with him and proceeded to lie down in his bed.
A guy I know who has now asked me on three dates (I have politely turned him down each time) invited me to a large party the other week. Because there were so many of my friends going and I know this guy in a casual capacity, I accepted. I did not go as his date (he invited 15 people, men and women) and spent the evening largely with my best female friend. I had made it quite clear I wasn’t interested.
As I was leaving the party, he insisted that he book me a taxi on his account. I thanked him and he said he would walk me to the taxi rank. Instead of doing this, he walked me in the opposite direction to his accommodation. I was unaware of where the rank was. He said we should wait in his room for the taxi to arrive. Half an hour passed and I asked him again where the taxi was. He said it was coming and repeated this every time I asked.
He locked the door and said it would be easier if I just stayed with him and proceeded to lie down in his bed. I started crying in frustration – I just wanted to go home and sat on the edge of a chair in his room totally helpless. Thankfully, I was saved by a very good friend who had to get out of his bed at 5am and cycle to the vague directions I was able to give him by text. He banged on the rooms of several people in the accommodation, waking them up in a desperate attempt to find me. When he found the room, I was shivering with cold and sobbing uncontrollably.
Not only did this guy lie to me in an attempt to make me stay over, he then continued to deny me the opportunity to go home. I was livid; never have I felt so powerless and utterly stunned at someone’s audacity. How on earth could he possibly think that this was a persuasive tactic to get me in to bed? I am completely repulsed at his behaviour.
Typically, he is oblivious to what he put me through that evening. I received a text two days ago from him, again asking me on a date this weekend.
Unbelievable.
“Hey gorgeous why you look so sad” – Belsize Park
I was walking home from school it was dusk, when a guy on the other side of the street shouted “hey gorgeous why you look so sad” he then started following me and said “don’t speed up , stay here”. I was shaken and scared for the rest of my walk home.
LANGDON OLGAR #2
HI FRIENDS
After a little hiatus we are finally putting out the second issue of our journal ‘Langdon Olgar’ It’s looking really great and we are very excited about it. It features writing from among others, Tavi Gevinson, Judy Berman, and Jes Skolnik, and art work from Barbara Hammer !!!!
It’s being lovingly risograph printed as I type these very words at in a very glam orange and teal combo, and will be elastic band-bound. Pre-order your very own copy from us here.
WOOOOOO!
”Mind your business bitch”
New submission from Lydia
I called out a creepy guy in his mid 20′s. Dreadlocked hair, all dressed in black holding a binliner on his knee. It was on the Northern Line today (7/12/12 4:30pm) between Moorgate and Bank as he was leaning against the woman beside him, muttering abuse and trying to stroke her leg. The most disgusting part of this is that people were watching this and finding it FUNNY. Probably because he was being so blatant and had a pathetic scruffy look to him. I had to squeeze by the guy in front of me to approach them – he was laughing at it too despite the woman looking frightened and trying her best to pretend nothing was happening.
Me: Stop that right now, its disgusting.
Creepy asshole: Mind your own business (looking uncomfortable)
Me: (To the woman) is he bothering you?
woman:(nods)
Creepy Asshole: Mind your business bitch.
Me: I’ll make it my business as long as creeps like you threaten women!
———then my stop was due sadly and so had to high tail it off or risk missing it. And personally I feel great! We’re socially conditioned to be passive/ quiet/ to MIND OUR BUSINESS in situations of abuse, so it felt great to speak up – especially on behalf of another^^ Glad I had the courage to do it! I hope the lady is OK too.
Please PLEASE if you see abuse happening/ if you experience abuse then speak up and put a stop to it, you owe it to yourself to defend your rights and it is the most empowering feeling!
As we walked past them, a boy noticed my badge and said ‘mmmm 13 huh? I bet you’r tight.’
New submission from Makeup is my mask
3 days ago i turned 13. 13 years old, walking around cardiff with 4 of my closest friends and I felt great. I’d never been stick thin but I’m not huge neither. People always complimented me telling me I was very beautiful. A boy even called me sexy but I laughed it off. Well we was walking around laughing when a group of about 7 boys walked past, looking about 14 to 19 to years old. As we walked past them, a boy noticed my badge and said ‘mmmm 13 huh? I bet you’re tight.’ I wAs so shocked I just stood there with my eyes wide. ThIs boy had to be at least 17. My friends grabbed me and told me to ignore the boys. But they started following us. They were shouting sickening comment about me being sexy.
My friends turned around and told the, to go in the nearest bush and have fun wi each other. They didn’t take any notice, just laughed and told the girls that they weren’t interested in them. They followed us around and then as I was walking into the train station ran past and ALL squeezed my breast. I was so shocked I just stood there. Sd,y my friends had gone in whsmith to get a book so I was alone. When they come out I told them what happened and my best friend was reading the cosmopolitan magazine. She told me to go to hollaback and share my story. So I thank you for making this website. It really helps xx
That’s when the ‘you’re an ugly c*nt, I wouldn’t want to f*ck you anyway’s started.
New submission from Hollie
I was walking to work this morning, when I saw I had to walk past a builder’s van with two guys sitting inside. The way they were both looking at me out their windscreen, I just KNEW there was going to be trouble.
I put my head down and kept walking, but they opened their doors and got out. One deliberately blocked my path, leant down into my face, and started saying in a very creepy, leery voice. “Hello sexy. Are you wearing that lovely red lipstick for me today?”
I got so angry, that I just yelled in their face ‘YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT’ and pushed past. That’s when the ‘you’re an ugly c*nt, I wouldn’t want to f*ck you anyway’s started. I said, as clearly as I could, though I was shaking, ‘You would hate it if another man spoke to your daughter like that, so don’t you bloody talk to me like that’. This just prompted further, violent, verbal abuse and so I ran off, their jeers following me.
I saw which house they were doing building work on, so I plan to post a letter there, saying ‘do you realise the builders who have employed sexually harrass women as they walk past and make this an unpleasant place to live?’
I don’t know what else I can do though. I just feel so angry and shaken, and also too scared to walk that way to work again.
A guy with his hood up walking passed me the other way went ‘mmmm, gorgeous’.
New submission from Sophie
I moved to London 4 weeks ago and I’ve already experienced a handful of verbal comments from men. They’ve always chosen when I’ve been alone or when there are few people around.
One was on Shoot up hill in Kilburn. I was walking towards the tube station and the road was quite empty. A man walking towards me leant into me as he went passed and shouted ‘boo’ in my face. When I jumped out of my skin he just laughed and kept going. I just kept walking, but I was bright red with embarrassment and furious. I daren’t say anything because I just don’t think it’s a good idea to challenge a man when I’m on my own on a dark street. But how can he be allowed to get away with that?
Second time I was changing from underground to overground at Willesden Junction. I was by myself in the underground pass and a man came out of the lift. He shouted ‘Watford, innit!’ in my face as he came past me. Would he have done that if I was a guy, or with someone else? No.
Third time was on the street in Kilburn, a man made kissy noises as I came past. I wanted so badly to tell him his behaviour was disgusting but again just felt so intimidated.
Fourth time was this evening, when walking by a main road in Willesden Junction at about 6.30pm. A guy with his hood up walking passed me the other way went ‘mmmm, gorgeous’.
Looking back I wish I’d said something, told him the way he was behaving was disgusting and that it had nothing to do with any sort of appreciation of a woman, it was all about intimidation and feeling in control. But again, what could I do? There weren’t many people around, he was much bigger than me, and god knows how he would react. I’ve spent the rest of the evening fuming about how helpless I felt.
I will always confront my attackers in behalf of all women too afraid to speak up themselves.
New submission from Lydia
About 7am this morning I was hurrying for my bus and passed a tall guy in his late 20′s outside of the newsagents. As I passed eager only to get under the shelter out of the slight rain and cold he started to make crude dog growling noises at me.
Since discovering Hollback in August I have taken it upon myself to correct every harasser I come into contact with provided the situation is safe.
I turned around and told him in a calm raised voice “Don’t you make those disgusting noises at me! Do you have any concept of how threatening you are being?” He goes silent but is grinning akwardly and I continue; “I know you are feeling insecure and powerless this morning which is why you decided to threaten a girl walking on her own, but I am not standing for it! Don’t be so revolting!” He’s looking more uncomfortable now and tries to say something but I cut across him saying “You aren’t worth me missing my bus. Good day.” And stride towards my bus which had just come around the corner.
Thankyou Hollaback for reminding me I am not alone, I will always confront my attackers in behalf of all women too afraid to speak up themselves. You guys have given me that courage ^w^
I zoomed up the stairs at a running pace to the lift, praying I could get in before he could, but he came just as fast, and put his hand on the wall behind me
New submission from Jessica
I was on my way back from university one day in early September. It was around seven o’clock, and just going dark, and I was wearing a black skirt, tights and a shirt. I got on the tube at Oxford Circus, buried my head in my book and began to listen to music. At Picadilly, a man got on, around thirty and quite muscular. He sat down opposite me. I looked up from my book to see who had sat down and accidentally caught his eye. Because I’m from the Midlands, I smiled – I guess I’m just very naive, still, even after living in London for over a year and a half. I buried myself in my book again, but I could feel his eyes on me. At one point between Embankment and Waterloo he leaned forward, said something about ‘spreading my legs’ and stayed in that position. I prayed that he would get off but he didn’t, and waited until I got up before he did. I guess I got up too early; as I was waiting for the doors to open he positioned himself right behind me – uncomfortably close.
As soon as the doors opened I zoomed up the stairs at a running pace to the lift, praying I could get in before he could, but he came just as fast, and put his hand on the wall behind me as the lift took us and around ten other people up to the ticket barrier.
I ran out of there too, across the road to my estate, all the time hoping that it was all a coincidence and that he just lived on the same estate as me. Eventually, I turned around and asked him why he was following me, to which he replied ‘When can we fuck?’ I sprinted up the stairs to my flat and slammed the door, feeling physically sick that a single chance smile with a girl on the tube wearing a less than provocative outfit could ever have given a man the idea that she wanted to have sex with him.