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New submission from Cherie
It was a Bank Holiday weekend and I went to a club with a friend. Occasionally we’d separate from each other and go to different rooms in the club.
My friend and I were in different rooms when I got talking to some guy (let’s call him “Richard”) and his friend (“James”), after Richard approached me saying that the two of them thought I was “absolutely stunning”. I thought Richard was gay, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable with the comment and just said, “That’s sweet of you to say”.
I began talking to them and the other people they were with – a mix of girls and boys. James decided to buy a round of shots for us (about 8 of us in total). He also bought me a beer.
After a while, we all went onto the club terrace. By this time, I could sense James was keen to spend more time with me. I wasn’t interested in him that way, so I kept my attention mainly towards Richard. I later found out Richard WASN’T gay, but by then I was cool around him, and he wasn’t coming onto me at all.
Me, Richard and James went to one of the rooms to dance. James decided to dance close behind me, which I wasn’t comfortable with, so I moved myself nearer to Richard.
Somehow, before I knew it, James had me sandwiched between him and Richard. Richard didn’t have his hands on me at all, so I was glad for that, but James seemed to be putting his hands on my shoulders, my waist, my hips. Even though I wasn’t particularly comfortable with it, I let him. I thought to myself: “He hasn’t been rude to me during the night, or disrespectful, plus he’s bought me drinks… I should just let him dance with me.”
James then put his hands on my shoulders and moved them down onto my breasts. I immediately pushed his hands away. I then felt his hands on my waist moving upwards and onto my breasts again. I pushed them away. He moved from behind me and I left the room.
I was so on edge after what just happened, I could barely enjoy the rest of the night.
Once I got home, I took off all the clothes I was wearing and washed them.
I still think about that day. I wish I didn’t. And I have to admit, sometimes I do blame myself (maybe my top was too revealing; maybe I shouldn’t have accepted the drinks; maybe I shouldn’t have danced with him…).
Every time I wear that top, I remember that day and it makes me angry. I’m considering throwing it away.
About 2 months ago as I was promoting my club night at a club which I also work at this guy groped me quite heavily as I walked past him. I turned around just in time to see him withdraw his hand and went up to ask what the fuck he was doing. He was quite drunk (I was completely sober) and just looked at me stupidly and said something on the lines of “What no it wasnt me” at the same time as he was laughing, I was seriously furious so I went to get the bouncers to get him kicked out.
He has been back in the club a couple of times since then and I haven’t really done anything about it although it has made me feel very uncomfortable, so last week as I was attending my friends night he was there again and I asked the bouncer to throw him out. The thing is that I feel bad about doing that, I feel like I was making a scene and that it was maybe unnecessary because he was drunk etc, it’s kind of ridiculous that I, being the harassed one should feel sorry for him, being a drunken moron… the social attitude towards harassment really needs changing, I really shouldn’t have to feel bad and like I am making a dramatic scene when he is the creepy scumbag perpetrator.
A friend and I were recently at The Monarch for Soundtracks night enjoying my last weekend in London before I jetted back home to Oz.
We had been inside less than 5 minutes before one “gentleman” had asked me if he could dance with my friend. Response – “you should probably ask her”. When her answer was in the negative we spent the rest of the evening enjoying arse gropes, crotch rubs and attempts to separate us in order to gain better access. Luckily my friend was wearing her ring/knuckleduster and I was in the mood for some big swings, floor crossing moves and full body launches so we managed to gain ourselves some personal space.
When two ladies are out having a nice time ‘together’ it’s not an invitation for every man in the joint to join in.
Watch out for the wandering hands at Soundtracks, but don’t let this disuade you from attending, it was a great night other than the detestable digits…
t’s 6am on New Years day and I’m still awake (and sober) from the night before looking up my legal rights after being groped in a club by a nasty piece of work.
When I called out the guy with a “WTF??!”, he stared straight back at me and said “What…what are you going to do about it?”. Nice. Rapist in the making methinks.
Well I thought I’d let the bouncers know. The bouncer came back into the club with me and I pointed the guy out. Unfortunately, he was talking to another bouncer and all of a sudden my bouncer announced that he couldn’t do anything since he didn’t see anything himself. I mentioned that generally nobody ever witnesses a rape either. And that my friend who was right behind me witnessed everything. Still, he was unmoved.
I asked for his license number since I would be complaining to security regulators. All the bouncers refused to give me their names or their numbers. I spoke to a female club promoter… and she agreed to get their numbers for me. However, on speaking to the bouncers she also lamed out and said there was nothing she could do. Was very disappointed in her.
But I’m mainly angry at the bouncers as they told me more than once how I should expect to be groped when I go to a club. No, sorry, I don’t expect it. Don’t enjoy it. And as sure as hell am not going to let it slide without a fuss. Will be logging a sexual harrassment incident with police, and complaining to the SIA, the venue owners, and the club promoters about the bouncers. I’d gladly let the businesses know on their respective facebook pages if girls should know that groping comes part and parcel with their entrance fee.